if only tonight we could sleep.

In the brilliantly funny webseries, Husbands, there's this line where one character remarks to another that he obviously hasn't seen the fanfiction written about the two of them online. Now, regardless of whether such fanfic exists (which would be, in the universe of this series, RPS, but in our world, more standard fanfic written of fictional characters), I found it interesting that not only was this part of fandom directly referenced, but that when one viewer pointed this line out in the comments as a particularly funny one, the uploader of the video (assumably one of the main stars/writers) commented back, "Now let's see some fanfic of [character name] reading fanfic."

A maker of the show, soliciting fanfic?

Am I the only one positively weirded out by this?

I feel like fic-writing fandom has always been an awkward companion to most producers of media. Porny fanfics, some depicting homosexual relationships that don't exactly fit the makers' own views of the characters, are viewed as the slightly embarrassing form of fandom. You can watch our show, speculate on the internet and even make fanvids for pairings, but must you write those fics? Understandably, writers themselves don't necessarily want to read about it, a lot of other people involved in making the canon also don't.

Overall, I've always felt like I can share my interests with other people, but it takes a certain level of comfort in knowing my conversation partner understands the world of fanfic before I'll ever confess to writing some. It's not a badge I've ever been told to wear proudly.

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Du sökte en blomma //  You searched for a flower

Du sökte en blomma // You searched for a flower
och fann en frukt. // and found a fruit.
Du sökte en källa // You searched for a fountain
och fann ett hav. // and found a sea.
Du sökte en kvinna // You searched for a woman
och fann en själ - // and found a soul -
du är besviken. // you are disappointed.

- Edith Södergran